Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Top 7 Indicators of Being an Old Couple

Deep Tissue Massage boy and I have been in a relationship now for roughly over 7 years. (Yes, our relationship is old enough to be in first grade.)
I learned a lot about him over the years, which I'd love to share in this blog as they are hella funny but he might go ape mad at me if I do so let's just say I know stuff about him that he dare not share with others. Let your imagination go wild.

Anyway, our relationship grew as the years passed and there are a lot of things that we no longer do that we used to when we were 7 months young. As DTM would always say nowadays, "Di ka naman ganyan dati nung bago tayo." (You weren't like that before.) To which I answer with "Di mo kasi binasa yung fine print sa manual ko. O, touch move na." (You did not read the the fine print in my manual. No backsies!)

Obviously, we are no longer in the "honeymoon" stage of our relationship. But how do you know if you are no longer in this sweet, everything-is-so-fine-and-dandy phase? Here are my top 7 indicators that you and your honey are no longer in the honeymoon stage.

7. You can do bodily functions in front of each other
If you can let loose that burp in front of your man, then my dear, honeymoonville is gone. I remember one time when DTM and I were on our 2nd date and I had to pass gas. Even though we were in the movie house, I had to excuse myself to go to the washroom. 

QUICK TIP If you are still not on this stage of your relationship and you accidentally passed gas, here's a style I got from my uncle. Every time he passes gas so loud it startles half the block, he would shout "Happy New Year!" on top of his lungs.
This may not hide your shameful act but at least you get to lighten the mood. 

And don't worry, even Noli de Castro passes gas so don't be ashamed. I think only Chuck Norris does not fart. Why? Because nothing escapes Chuck Norris (according to one forum I saw).
No these are not fart guns. (Photo from Filmschoolrejects.com)
6. Why you no date me?
When DTM and I were new, we used to go out on whole day dates. Not just date nights. We do the whole movie, malling, dinner, drinks and coffee thing.

Now, we think twice before going out and we think how much cheaper it will be to just order in, call Shakey's, get their Belly Buster and mojos, use his Pizzanatic card and get an extra Hawaiian pizza and watch Big Bang Theory reruns all night long.
Or as my mom would call them, MOHOS (Photo from cthm1t4.blogspot.com)
5. You know your real crazies
When we were a week in our relationship, I made sure he did not see the crazy, PMS charged me. I knew that if I showed him how crazy emotional I get when I am nearing my cycle, he would run the opposite direction. Now, he already knows that there are days where I make no sense at all, so he steers clear of me when I am in that mode. 

4. You become mind readers
When you've been in a relationship long enough, more often than not, you do not even need to talk to communicate. Here is a sample conversation between DTM and I.
DTM: Nadownload mo na ba yung... (Have you downloaded the...)
Me: Wala pa hindi pa naupload. Pakihanap nga yung... (I was not yet uploaded. Please look for my...)
DTM: *hands over my glasses* Nasan yung... (Where is the...)
Me: *hands over the remote*
Thus, it makes it hard to play poker against each other (Photo from tranquilwater.uk.com)
3. PDA? Blech
A month into our relationship and DTM and I could not keep our hands away from each other. Seriously, people were uncomfortable around us. Now, we are the uncomfortable ones when we see new couples fondling each other in public. We even make fun of them, judging them for being young and frisky. Judgers we are.

Ewww... PDA.

2. Who is that? What is that? Where are you going? Where are you?
When we were fairly new and a message popped in my guy's mobile, I wanted to check who it was, see who messaged him and if it's a girl, kill that sumb!tch. All that runs through my head but all I would do is smile and act as if I could care less (of course, as seen in number 5, I was not showing my paranoid schizo self back then).

Now, a sense of trust has already been built, which is one of the best things about being in an old relationship.

And the top sign that you are out of the honeymoon stage is...

1. Lazy lovers

As one HIMYM episode aptly depicts it:
Ted and Robin are on the bed. Robin is sleeping
Ted : Oh, Robin... I just had a great idea.
Robin : Oh, do whatever you want to me just don't wake me up.
(Photo from wikia.com)
But that said, I still hope that DTM will still want me even if we are all old and wrinkly. Like this old couple's video that went viral on YouTube. 1 minute, 50 seconds into the video, see how even an old man that age wanted her wife to pull her dress down. LOL!

Are YOU in an old or new relationship?


Anonymous said...

About number 3. Not true. I do not feel uncomfortable when I see PDA-ing couples. I just think of ways I can feel you up and not get slapped. LOL! -DTM

tatess said...

same here ,hubby and me are married for 7 1/2 years.i can now pass gas in front of him.we know what we want and we don't .One thing that never changed is our being sweet with each other .we still do the PDA,holding hands while walking .kissing in public(he is the one kissing me).And the "Do whatever you want but don't wake me up".

May said...

Hahaha, this is hilarious! I'm young (really) but in an old relationship hehe. Took us 7 years of bf-gf bliss before we got married and we're heading for wedding anniv year 8 next week.

But I differ. Hehe. As much as I can, I don't let out the bodily whatevers. He does that easily and with comfort, but I don't.

No to PDA but we still date much. :D Only most dates include the kids so I guess that doesn't count.

I've gone real crazy, crazier than before we were married, and I think he's losing his touch. He doesn't get my craziness that much. Or has he just matured?

As for checking out on him, I guess I do that less often (to him) hahaha. But in secret, I'm onto him 24/7, the CIA would be proud. You know I'm kidding, right? :D

And lazy lovers? Humph. Speak for yourself.

LoL. I love this post. Got me into morning high, I think I can skip the coffee.

Seriously, I hope me and the hubs will be together till we're old and wrinkly too. He treats me like the queen I am and I wub him. Cheesy!

Oh yeah, you got me at jellybeans. Now Imma craving. Ihateyou, hmph.

Christia's World said...

@DTM - You should not be here! You are my unseen hero. *thinking of deleting your comment*

@tatess - Aww, you remind me of my mom and dad. They are the sweetest couple in the world!

@May - Wow, advanced happy anniv. When will I ever be a bride? (hint for DTM if you are still hovering around my blog)
I was actually walking my dog when I read your comment and I was greatly enjoying it that I looked silly as I tried to walk my baby while laughing at my cell.
Especially the "Speak for yourself" part. Still frisky and "may asim pa:, I see. Goodjabpatontheback:p

promking said...

TRUE sa number 6.

I will ask the DIWATA to read your blogpost. thanks.

Christia's World said...

Hehe thanks for the referral, will wait for DIWATA to drop by :)

kindlehearts.com said...

I agree to all of the above.. haha!nice post!:)

Michi said...

i agree in almost all your points. this is really funny post. you made my day. =)

Pinaywriter said...

So cute. Sad to say, I have yet to be in an old relationship. Longest I had was a year and a half. But for me six months feels likes a year so that was like three years in ninyayears. ^^ I get bored easily so I always try to spice things up, learn new things. So far only one of my exes is not friends with me. ^.^

Christia's World said...

@kindlehearts - thanks!
@michi - glad to be of service. tune in next time!
@pinaywriter - y'know, I don't think I am friends with any of my exes... I only have 2 though... Good for you :)

Joy said...

i fall into the old relationship category :) no big change actually - we still go a date, i still giggle when he pampers me with gifts, it's just that we became much comfortable to each other :)

simply pochi said...

wahaha! this is hilarious. :) you really did a great job in making me laugh today :D

Christia's World said...

@joy - naks, that is good to hear :) to clarify lang, DTM is still very sweet... parang atang ang boring na namin as a couple sa post na ito.
@simply pochi - check my blog next time for more of these :) minus chuck norris siguro. :p

Sining Factory said...

This is all true. But I am not too comfortable about PDA's. Showing your love to your partner, I think there is always the right time and place for that.

Jonathan said...

I don't believe in all of these, but hey very funny article! haha.

kRyStLe said...

well noted.. will saveb this link fo rfuture use..

chrisair said...

waah si DTM nangcocoment dito, well I guess if you are in a LDR I think that you are in the stage of new relationship

Julie. -- said...

I had a 3 yrs relationship with someone and when things became comfortable to both of us, he backed out. He didn't stand a chance sa "comfortable-self" ko. Hahaha! But this is hilarious. Though I can't relate much, this made me laugh today.

Gil Camporazo said...

My wife and I are already in our 60s. But we're still lovers and friends. We got married when we're at the age of 21. We used to date each other, ate outside, went to party. I may term our relationship has nothing changed in our old age marital relationship. The only things that differ from 39 years ago of our happy and contented married life, were our lovely 6 grown-up children. We're not counting our sheeps, but instead our blessings as what Bing Crosby's Christmas song. It's how we reciprocate our feelings that make us happy and satisfied with our marriage. Honesty and fidelity are guiding virtues we used to nurture and to keep with us.

Cha said...

Does familiarity breeds contempt?

Have you experienced the 7th year itch?

I find it funny when both wife and husband became madam auring's version ha ha ha!


Mei said...

I like the number 3 and number 2. hahaha.

I don't really like couples who are PDA. I don't know, but I don't think it's appropriate or necessary in couples.

About sa panghihinala, nakakaloka. Ako minsan dumaan din ako sa ganyan hehe pero lately masasabi ko na walang sense yung maghinala ka. OMG tumatanda na ba ako? hahaha

May said...

Glad you liked {and laughed}! Friends then, lets? :D

Hey, join my Colorful Weekend party sometime. Everything's on my blog, check it out. I probably suck as a host but apparently, quite a few actually find it fun. :D See you there?

germz said...

we're in the middle....hehe but as early as our first year we're close to becoming old already...hehe

Matsumoto said...

Lol! I can totally relate! Our friends always get confused who is online between hubby and I because I sometimes use his handle and he uses mine and they can't tell the difference. We're 10 years into the relationship, can't say if that's young or old... :D

Vayie said...

been together with my husband since 3rd Year Highschool - and I can TOTALLY relate :)

Sumi Go said...

I love this blog post! :) Boyfie and I have been dating for 2 years, but we got to the comfortable stage really early. I guess it was by accident though 'cause after I passed gas on our 3rd month, bodily functions were not a problem anymore.

With #6, we still go out but for a different reason. We used to go on ordinary mall dates, but now I always force him to accompany me to blogger events and food trips. Although we got used to it, he says he misses dates for our sake, not dates for my blog's sake.. >.<

Christia's World said...

@sining factory - But I have to say, when I was also so young and sooo full of hormones, I too had my fair share of PDA moments

@jonathan - awwshucksicles thanks

@krystle - hmm ok, though I am not sure how you can use this for future use! :p

@chrisair - IKR, he was supposed to be my unseen hero!

@julie - awwblush thanks

@gilcamporazo - WOW 39 years!!! I was not even born yet during that time.

@cha - not im my case. I think contempt comes if you have something you do not like about the other person but instead of saying it, you hide it until it festers and finally becomes contempt.
on my part, nope. I do hope DTM can say the same though!

@mei - awwmigarsh thanks! yes, I also was a part time imbestigador back then when it came to him. but now, eh. *shrugs*

@may - heeeey! I just checked your blog! AWE-SOME. Yes, lets!

@germz - getting there huh? lol, go back to this blog prolly a year from now and tell me where you both are at!

@Matsumoto - wow, 10 years! your relationship is in 5th grade!

@vayie - oh yes yes yes! dontcha just love #1?!

@sumi - awwwhihiblush thanks.

Sebs | MaximizingMarriage.com said...

Haha! Nice one with the "bodily functions" thingy. =)

Christia's World said...

Coz it's true! :) Observational humor works.

c5 @ balagtasantayo.info said...

Nice list! I guess we're not yet that old. 18 years of anniversaries! :)

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